Ranting Over Others' Reactions to a Tragedy

This article came up through my news feed on Facebook this afternoon. I am appalled at some of the comments: 
One says that there is plenty of research that the majority of peanut allergies are psychological (!!)
Another suggested that instead of banning the foods, allergic people should just avoid places containing the allergen. Umm, school?!?
Yet another who says it is not his problem, and he is tired of having to change his life because of someone else's problem. 

When Princess A was three she ate a cashew. As soon as she swallowed it she started screaming that her tongue hurt, that her throat hurt, that her chest hurt, that her belly hurt, then she started vomiting. Fortunately she missed the Christmas turkey that was just about to be served.
Two months later (Valentine's Day, to be exact), she took a bite of a peanut butter cup handed out at her (supposedly peanut-free) daycare. Again, she immediately started screaming. I had her spit it out, rinsed her mouth out, gave her Benadryl and all was well. Thankfully.
Less than a year after this, we went out to dinner. We told the hostess of her allergy before we even agreed to eat there. Told the server as we were handed our menus, and reiterated the information when we ordered. We were assured everything was safe. Turns out it wasn't, there was a walnut in the oatmeal cookie. Again, screaming in pain, and I could see her lips swell. Her words were slurred as her tongue swelled as well. Benadryl was given, an epi-pen was administered and paramedics were called.
Each of these events occurred before she was 4-1/2 years old, the final two at places that had assured us they were nut free. 
If she so much as taps a peanut/treenut, she will get a rash. I have also known her to cough/wheeze if she gets too close to peanut butter. 
These reactions are neither imagined nor psychosomatic. Do you really believe a three-year-old is that cunning? How could the four-year-old have known there was a walnut in the cookie when the shop who baked them didn't? 

I know another little girl who, at age 2, was served a peanut butter sandwich. And by 'served' I mean it was placed on the table in front of her. The reaction was instantaneous. She did not touch it, she did not bite it, but her face and lips blew up. 

Did you know that reactions can vary? That if you have a mild allergic reaction one time, does not mean you are mildly allergic, it just means you were lucky. Next time can be a whole different story. Allergies also can develop over time. I met a woman just a couple of weeks ago (Princess A and I took her Zentangle class) who said she had a horrible reaction in a Thai restaurant when she has never had one before. The culprit was peanuts.

I find the reaction of 'I should not have to change, it is your problem' absolutely horrifying. We are not talking about someone who does not like mushrooms and insists that no one else eat them either. Nor someone who chooses to eat vegan and expects all to accommodate. This is a matter of Life and Death.
I think all schools, daycare centers, kid gyms, etc. should ban peanuts and treenuts. I do not believe this will lead to the restriction of every food under the sun that has ever caused someone trouble. In fact, the only other allergy I have heard of that can have such a devastating effect just from being inhaled is latex. And I know of a school that did not hesitate to ban latex from the ENTIRE school for that ONE KID.
Most children of elementary school age and younger are not savvy enough to advocate for themselves, nor are the youngest ones able to read a label. Kids also have a tendency to spill things, leave messes and not wash hands, then touch everything. That peanut butter on his desk, or on his hand can spread throughout the entire room. Your kid will survive if he does not eat a peanut butter sandwich. My kid could die if he does. Is your child's immediate gratification more important than my daughters life??

Plus, sometimes it is your problem. Some years ago, Princess A and I flew to FL, to see my sister. I bought tickets with an airline whose policy was that while they were unable to forbid peanuts altogether, they would prepare a peanut free area, six rows in front, behind and across the aisle of an allergic person. The flight attendants made an announcement that "due to an allergy, rows blank through blank would not be served any peanuts and any that they had purchased needed to stay in their bags, or we would have to land in North Carolina and nobody wants that".

But of course we all know that person who insists her kid is allergic to milk, then proceeds to serve him yogurt as part of lunch and ice cream for dessert. Or that other one who says she is allergic to dairy and, when accidentally served cheese topping, just scrapes it off and eats it anyway. Or the one whose kid is allergic to dairy, eggs, peanuts, and treenuts, but the child does not bring her own snack to the amusement park and the epipen is purposely left (by the parents) in the car. Or yet another one who says he is so deathly allergic to fish that he expects everyone in his apartment complex(!) to no longer prepare fish in their own homes(!), yet does not even own an epipen. (Trust me, he was not allergic)
Please, please, please, do not say there is an allergy if it is only a dislike or disdain or totally grossed-outedness. Just say you find it repellant. Otherwise, you seriously undermine the safety of those with true allergies. I am certain the reason that so many believe that all of this allergy talk is just "hype" or made up is because of stories like those above. Allergies are very real and very dangerous. Those of us whose lives are ruled by them (you have to eat in order to survive) need to be believed and need to be respected.

Finally, never, ever serve an allergen to a guest with an allergy. Ask before preparing food if there are any allergies in the party. Be cognizant of the ingredients you use and warn people of what is not safe. Better yet, don't cook with those troublesome items at all. I am always willing to answer questions as to what exactly Princess A can and cannot eat, and how to prepare something to be absolutely sure it is safe. I also do not mind providing for her (I have baked her personal cupcakes for many a birthday party), but do appreciate if the majority of your menu is safe for her to eat. I know I am obnoxiously judgmental over how people prepare food for my daughter. It is not personal, I am just trying to keep her safe. She wants to be able to participate in the festivities as fully as the other kids do, after all. A trip to the ER is not fun for anyone.